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May 29, 2004
Liquidy Liquidy Slosh
I've been super thirsty for the last two days.
This resulted in me drinking seven (yes, seven) glasses of water at dinner last night (well, I had some help from garlicky pickles), then drinking four more glasses when I got home. Today I've had about six glasses.
No, I don't know why I'm so thirsty, except that I expect it has something to do with that accursed pine tree down the block that has been spewing yellow evil... erm, that is to say, pollen all over the neighborhood. Because I've also been sneezing and snuffing for the last few days, and I don't otherwise feel unwell.
The result of this drinking frenzy is that I can't go anywhere that doesn't have a bathroom for more than an hour. This has lead me to design a contraption (the only word for it) which can be attached into the underpants and snaked out a pants leg, allowing a person (particularly a female person, but a male person, too) to pee discreetly while appearing to merely stand fully clothed in the shrubbery.
The catch is that you have to wear it all the time, and I think it might start to smell like pee. I'm working on that part. Maybe little cleansing rinse nodules that can be flushed through the system. Or maybe an herbal supplement to make your pee smell like perfume.
In the meantime, Noel had better get home before I actually start making anything I've designed lately.
Posted by ayse on 05/29/04 at 2:54 PM
Can't take you anywhere and can't leave you at home .
I mean, here I am farting around on the computer (including tweaking MY blog ... I think I have commenting enabled on Berkeley Farm Girl) instead of cleaning or sewing, but at least I haven't been inventing things that have probably already been invented.
I don't know if anybody has designed the CatheterPants(tm) yet, but it's certainly not available in stores. Though the ones that I've seen are for using in places where it's OK to drop trou.
I'll bet a lot of guys would love a three foot long penis, too. I'm still bloated from that dinner - how long ago was it?